So I'm blogging because I haven't in a while. If it's a little all over the place and slightly sloppy, I'm not gonna lie. I've been drinking a little bit.
Everything lately is changing. All of my friends have left for college. I'm missing like 10-15 great friends because of college. Most are hours and hours away from me. It really sucks. 2 of these people I miss to death already. I went to them for almost everything. We cried together, laughed together, grew together, and loved together. My first time at a club was because of these two and now I don't think I can go to another without one of them there. Just everything about these 2 makes me happy. I'm so proud of them and everything they've done and are working to achieve. I just hope to God they don't leave forever and we stop talking. Probably one of my BIGGEST fears right now is losing these two. I can't live without them.
In general I'm pretty happy lately. I'm coming out of the small shell I had in the first place. I'm being more flirty with strangers and not afraid to talk to new people. I had some success with some guys lately, but none nearby which sucks. I need to find someone close to home. I'm ready for a relationship. I want something between me and someone else. Something of significance.
The only thing I'm not happy with is my lack of friends now. I'm trying to hang out with work friends some more... but it's not worked yet. No one wants to hang out with me, aside from my BFF of course. So i'm striking up conversation with some of my old christian friends lately. Some of it unintentional, some of it intentional, and some of it me being drunk and lonely like tonight. I like them all a lot. i want those friendships still. I really do. I need people in my life to cling to. But these people... they just don't understand accept or love me for me. So I don't know why I'm putting myself through that.
I guess I'm done venting for the most part. Updates on more of my lifes and the going's on some other day!
BAI!
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